Let Us Drink To Moister Laps

Apologies for the lack of updates - I sense the pattern of this blog might be complete inactivity for a few days and then a torrent of posts, making both of my initial predictions of its fate simultaneously true. This may mean that I share the clairvoyant powers of today's blog subject, a thought which is not entirely reassuring.

Today, I would like to introduce you to George. Not my father, who was rather disappointed to find out that for once my comment about sixty-year old disruptive influences was not referring to him. It does however refer to another George, who is pictured above with myself and my flatmate Kate. George (Jiři in Czech, but known to English and Czech alike at Oxford TEFL by his anglicized name) is one of our language students, and is both a comic genius and a complete and utter eccentric. Needless to say he provides English teachers with a lot of entertainment.

At the school where I am training, our students/guinea pigs are locals who pay a minimal fee to experience attend classes taught by a revolving series of trainee English teachers. As each class is held four times a week (although few attend that often), most students tend only to come for a few months. George, however, has been diligently attending evening English classes every month for five years and is a veritable Oxford TEFL legend. His English is not as good as this fact may lead one to believe, but he is very gifted at using it for nefarious purposes, many of which, despite the fact that he has been married for 25 years, involve trying to charm ladies. George is also at the centre of the 'Konvikt' crew, which is the name of the group of teachers, trainees, students and assorted randomers that attend the legendary Thursday pub night, and he organises various socials and trips throughout the year.

Here are a few of George's gems so far. Picture the following coming from the mouth of a sixty-year old man wearing a black and white striped jumper and a rather natty leather waistcoast, accompanied with florid gesticulation, numerous pauses and pensive looks at the sky.

In the lessons:

- 'Yes, she go to Morocco last summer, and she....she was slave' (in class, when asked a question about the lady next to him's worst experience travelling. Needless to say this was not indeed true).
- 'I say Paul bad word because I fall asleep in his lesson and he do not wake me up. All my money goes poof out of window when I am sleeping' (he had indeed dozed off earlier in one of my colleagues' lessons).
- 'No, I am not good today. It is full moon, so nothing is good. People are like wolves and they are not well. Everything is bad' (when asked how he was at the beginning of a class).

At the pub:

- 'Ah, beer. Beer is good. Yes, for ladies beer is very good for chest.'
- 'I am clairvoyant, I am hearing things from sky gods. No, I cannot say. I have signed a contract so I must....I must keep it silent.'
- 'We must drink to moister laps' (George's favourite 'cheers.' David, our Course Director, was previously unsure if George thought he was saying 'moister lips,' but when questioning him on Thursday we ascertained that this was not the case).
- 'Nádraži' (the version of 'cheers' that George teaches the trainees to say. I have since found out that this translates as 'train station,' with the correct form of 'cheers' actually being 'na zdravi).

If you can speak Czech, more of George's unadulterated wisdom can be found at the Konvikt blog, which is at http://konvikt.blog.cz/ (Martina, please read it and tell me what it says!) English speakers can find the useful chat up phrases that we taught George last Thursday faithfully reproduced, as well as a link to George's Picasa web albums which contain lots of pictures of Konvikt carnage.