Apologies for the long absence - I imagine you've attributed it to laziness, but in actuality it's taken me days to wrestle back control of the blog from a pesky little bear named Gunther. He sits there crying, little furry paws tapping frantically on the keys, and I hadn't the heart to tear him away. He's also keeps giving me a real case of the side eye; I'm not sure he's forgiven me yet for the abandonment and for having been left with such inappropriate 'babysitters.'
Anyway, there will be a real post soon, I promise, but as I am going out in a few minutes I shall content myself for now with part one of what I imagine will be a frequently recurring series over the next few months: Mangled English.
As I'm sure you can imagine, we have encountered lots of, well, creative uses of the English language during our time in Prague, not least the strange purposes to which George subjects my poor mother tongue. Now, I am not being critical here; I understand that most Czech people's English is about a million times better than my Czech, which after four weeks here unfortunately still mainly consists of the rabid overuse of prosim, flagrant mispronunciation of the words nashledanou and děkuji, and the use of Russian numbers as I can't quite ever remember the Czech ones. So no, no criticisms from me. Indeed, I believe that the creative possibilities of English are best revealed when it is dragged through a hedge backwards by an over-enthusiastic learner, and as such I shall delight in sharing their nuggets of wisdom with you all.
Exhibit A in the mangled English freak parade is this genuine and unadulterated section of a restaurant review taken from the English page of Prague's free weekly magazine, which aptly demonstrates why some people should never be left unsupervised in the presence of a thesaurus. Unfortunately, this is the restaurant I'm going to tonight, and so I must admit I am a little concerned about the following:
'But why not spoil ourselves with a little bit of bliss at least through the digestive tract, when all the food speedily turns into joylessness way and everybody has got a headache from it? It's good to try in this case, when such bliss will cost you all the money that you've earned in the last month. The newcomer will probably be fascinated with the pleasant interior's conception....the whole environment is completed with other sensual adornments, because in the tearooms the taste is not the only thing that is important. The visitors would surely wish a little bit more from attentive waiters, whose laxity can be excused perhaps only by the temperament and habits in the latitudes, from where they come from.'
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hahaha, what restaurant is that? Is the reviewer actually trashing the place? The food turns into headaches and joylessness, it's expensive, and the waiters are crap...
ReplyDeleteThe restaurant he was reviewing was a Middle Eastern place called Dahab - and after all the talk of the headaches and joylessness, he gave it four stars! We didn't end up going there in the end, which is perhaps just as well...
ReplyDeleteWait, I think I know that place (though I've never been inside) - it's right next to where I live! If you do end up going at some point, let me know what it's like!
ReplyDeleteIt's on Dlouha, which is really near where I'm staying too - we're on a little street called Benediktska. Don't suppose you went to the school that is just behind Old Town Square in that case?
ReplyDeleteI know that my English is not perfect...but this is really really funny! :D
ReplyDeleteI went to primary school in Masna ulice. Now it's a nursery though (Materska skola). You can get there from Dlouha (which means "long" btw) or walking straight from Benediktska. Did you see it? There's a playground opposite the school, and a church with a clock tower, which kept me from falling into despair during never-ending lessons at school (I didn't have a watch, and there was no clock in the classroom, otherwise kids would never look at the teacher - we were that bored!)
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